Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
