It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police