I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it