it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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