is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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