Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
