sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
