Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize