Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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