Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
