Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
