i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
