i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize