Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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