I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize