It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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