Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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