Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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