JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.