Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!