Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.