K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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