lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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