I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.