Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.