that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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