I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.