So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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