I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
