You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
