my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
