Apparently you make a good broom.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
