New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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