the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
