if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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