Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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