yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
