you traded sex for a burrito?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
