Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
