just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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