Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize
