so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so that wasnt chicken after all
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
