it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Boobs are out for the taking
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
