im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
