no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
