fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
accomplished twins. life is a go
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize