i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
