im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
