i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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