Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
