Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
