He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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