so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
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I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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