Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize