so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
