just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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