Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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