I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
