Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
