I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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