I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize